from a fellow understanderer

(this was really inserted mid-report at an unnamed engineering firm)

understandering writing job proposals at my work:

Detailed software design
We're totally going to design you some rad software. How do we know? Because we have a 50 year track record of designing the raddest software in the industry. We hate on windows, so we made our own operating sytem that's way better than that clunker. Each block of code is checked by at least 5 PHDs. We even check your code before we copy it. We budget timing down to the picosecond. Our algorithms are so fresh, we can predict the weather in all of China on a Nintendo. We write documentation that first graders can understand. This is all part of our process. We love process even more than we hate on windows. We have process to thank for making our software so consistently rad.

We heard that some of the code that goes on this thing might be in assembly. At other companies they'd be all whining, saying stuff like 'assembly, we're gonna have to budget a man-month so we can teach someone how to even read it'. Not at BCA. We have a dude that can read machine code more faster than Pentium. He works here because he knows he'll get to make some rad software.

We know you want backwards compatibility, so we're test our target firmware with your old-timey host garbage. That's common sense. Then we're gonna add some new stuff that's gonna make your whole system whirr and jangle so that when you turn it on, it plays crazy free jazz that is MIND BLOWING. Don't believe us? We have recordings of this stuff in action. They're so hott.